How Voldemort was REALLY Defeated
by The Death of Beauty
Summary: How Voldemort was really defeated, R


How Voldemort was really defeated.

It was the day of the final battle and Voldemort was walking through the corridors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He was humming to himself as he turned a corner, he was searching for the Idiotic Griffindor Boy as Voldemort had taken it upon himself to dub him. Although, he wouldn't call this searching, not when he knew where the Potter Brat (another nickname, there are also someothers, such as, The Golden One, Idiot, The Boy Who Just Wouldn't Die, and The Freak of Nature. Only a few of the nicknames, you see Voldemort really has no life.) was. He had managed to get The Pathetic Mess Petigrew (more nicknames, but this one is T.P.M.P for short, or Tramp! Don't ask) to transform into his Animagus form of a rat (Voldemort had sneered when he heard this) and steal the thing known as 'The Maururders Map' from Scar-Face's possesion. He smirked down at the parchment in his hands, internally laughing (he'd never show amusment on the outside, he's a Dark Lord, how dare you even think it!) at the fact the James Potter and his band of merry followers -henchmen, friends- had either directly ((Wormtail)) or indirectly ((pretty much everyone else in his gang)) had caused dear Potty Pants' demise. He looked down at the dot that was labled 'Tom Riddle Jr. A.K.A Lord Voldemort' he was so close to the dot called 'Harry Potter'. He smirked (he'd been doing a lot of that, recently) at the plan he had formulated (big word! Ha ha he deserves a silver star ((he refused gold, saying it was Griffindorkish)) on his vocabulary chart!) it had to so with Pot Head, Crucio, Boggarts, Avada Kedavra and Himself, The Great and Powerful Dark Lord Voldemort That Every One Is So Afraid Of They Will Not Even Speak His Name. He turned another corner, ahhh! He was almost there.  
~xXx~ T.G.A.P.D.L.V.T.E.O.I.S.A.O.T.W.N.E.S.H.N. (The Great and Powerful Dark Lord Voldemort That Every One Is So Afraid Of They Will Not Even Speak His Name, only that was too long, and he wanted to save time, even if that took longer) blasted down the door, in an over dramatic entry and readied the Boggarts (well, when I say 'he readied the Boggarts' I mean he really got one of his goony henchmen type people that obviously have no brain for themselves to do it. There is no way that The Great and Powerful Dark Lord Voldemort That Every One Is So Afraid Of They Will Not Even Speak His Name would ever touch one of those things). He walked up to Scar-dy Cat and smirked ((Yes, again. Deal.)) while saying, "Enjoy the entertainment I have prepared for you, Boy Wonder Who Refuses To Die And Was A Murderer Since He Was Like Fifteen Month Old." and released ((The goons!)) the Boggarts.  
~xXx~ T.G.A.P.D.L.V.T.E.O.I.S.A.O.T.W.N.E.S.H.N. watched in masked glee as the face of his arch nemisis contorted in absolute horror, but then his emotions switched track to confused once he followed Potter's (no more nicknames) line of sight. The Boggart had changed itself into the shape of a cookie.  
"A cookie, Potter, really?" Voldemort asked in barley hidden amusment and curiosity.  
"Like, totally, I mean, like, do you even, like, know how many, like, calories are, like, in one cookie? Like too many to be like eaten ." Potter said in a extreamly feminine voice, sounding like a Muggle Female Teenager. Slowly Potter raised his wand and uttered the incataion, "Like, Riddikulus!" while over flourishign his movements. With a crack the cookie turned into Tommy-Boy, who at this present moment in time was completey baffled, curious, and hurt while Potter laughed over his Boggart Body Thing.  
"What?" Voldie Mouldy snarled.  
"Y-y-you don't have a nose!" He got out between laughs. Voldemort fled the scene feeling utterly embarassed. ~xXx~ Back at Death Eaters 'R' Us Voldemort had flown to his chambers and put a 'do not disturb' door hanger up. He was so embarrased. He put his wand to his head, muttering the killing curse. He figured he'd float about as a disembodied spirit for a few years before coming back, it was surprisingly relaxing. Unfortunatley, Voldemort never came back as Dumbledore and Potter had killed all of his horcrux's.  
The End

If you liked it, drop a review, or you can look at my other one short humor thing, or even better, both.

Peace out,  
Cj xx 


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